Mooing like a cow was my best performance.
I was hypnotised once. With each number spoken, by the man wearing a red clock and a hat ... a hat called a dunce hat (of any colour,) — worn by those considered without knowledge; and not to be confused with a witches hat (normally black in colour,) and in the shape of a cone — worn by those thought to have issued a spell. Under what spell issued upon me that night. I'm unaware. The room was hashed by the time he had reached one, and I was without myself (in a manner of speaking.) I remember the man telling me that with each number ... starting from ten, I would slip into a deep sleep. I would be in a kind of trance. I would hear only his voice and would complete the tasks assigned to me by him ... and only him: and when he clapped his hands all would be as before, and I would remember nothing. I sat on the chair of plywood and pipe framing — facing the audience. I could see my girlfriend L____, she seamed concerned; her eyes were fixed directly upon mine ... hoping I imagine that I would say anything to embarrass us ... properly more like nothing to embarrass her.
Ten. Nothing. I am still in the world of the living. Nine. Nothing. He was telling me I am drifting (becoming sleepy,) I was not. Eight. Not so sure about the nothing. Seven. The room was becoming a little darker ... I'm assuming someone is dimming the lights (for effect.)
Six. Okay, I'm a little tied, and the room is very quiet; yet I can see people laughing, but can't hear them. L_____ is still looking at me. Her lips are moving. What is she saying? Five. I hear his voice ... you are becoming very sleepy, soon all you will hear will be my voice, instructing you to sing like a bird, quack like a duck, snort like a pig, moo like a cow. Yeah right. You're joking, I can hear myself. Four. Three. Two. One. Zero.
The farm gate is open, I'm on my knees; the laughter of the audience — is like the wind through the trees ... my song is filling the room, it is a sweet sound; sounds like ... three black birds in a pie. The farmer has a bucket of last nights cabbage, he is filling my trough. Snort, snort, get out of my way, this is my breakfast. The mud is up to my knees, my nose is dug deep into the rotten vegetation.
I learn later that my girlfriend L____ left the room. It took her three weeks to answer my phone calls. I'm told I did not perform to my best when instructed to quack like a duck (although you must agree, hard to believe.) However mooing like a cow was my best performance.
~~~~