Inspector Cutler ...

Three cases - requiring no further Investigation.

(1) The case of missing Master Piece.

The artist, with the name of Turner; stood with brush in hand (his right — being right handed, it can be assumed,) and the favourite palette in his left — his thumb tucked in the little circular hole.          In his mouth a sketching pencil (it's end a little soggy — from his continuous  sucking of it.)          If a knock were to come to the studio door (now,) he would not be aware — for his attention is totally consumed by his master piece. 

 So it was reported that following winter (by he who painted it,) the master piece of outrages orange, reds, and greens, and several shades purple  —  painted from the window of a rented room by the sea, had disappeared.            Mr Turner (the artist,) he told the constable (a policeman, not the artist;) he had completed the work .... that night before making love to the house-keeper, in her apartment (above the room ... his studio.)          Woken (the next morning,) by the before mentioned house-keeper, drawing curtains, and warm words of affection — words not heard from his discarded wife, or his daughters — of a passed existence.          He continued, having left the bed; dressed ... he returned to the room (his studio,) only to find the painting of the before mentioned, was no-longer on the ....           Gone; the orange, the reds and the greens ... there applied last night — with the striking angry flowing brushes ... crowned in rich deep colours of the sky and the sea; gone; the sails, and smoke-stacks of ships ... coming or going.           In its place  —  (Here, Mr Turner held his words ... he grunted, return his top hat to his head, said good-day to the constable (the policeman, not the artist,) and left.

It was learnt  (via gossip,) in the days that followed — the before mentioned house-keeper, had that morning exchanged the master-piece (painted that night before,) with another of her favourites ... and it was she, whispered in the ear or Mr Turner as he reported the lost.

(2) The case of the missing Blacksmith girl. 

  Joe Smith was a blacksmith, of Blacksmith foundry in Furnace Lane - due to the fact there was once a steel works furnace near by.        He worked there with his three brothers; Jon Smith, Josh Smith and Jack Smith ... also with two brothers, and a daughter of the Black family; Tom Black, Timmy Black and Jane Black.        Jane who was the bellows blower, failed to be there one morning, and failed to be home one night, the next morning she failed to be there, and that night failed to be home ... This continued for seven days.        The Blacksmiths, after much thought (came as one mind,) to the conclusion she was missing — and reported fact to the local constabulary.         Inquires were made on their behalf.     Taking no more than four hours to discover she had eloped and married (in secret,) yes; you guessed it —  to another Smith.        (No just kidding,) she had married Joe Harrier (the third son of James and July Harrier) leaving on foot that very day ... never to return.

(3) The case of the missing digit.

Rollin is as thick as the skin on butcher Kilmore's pork sausages — he tells those that ask, are from piglets not more than ten weeks old ... knowing the truth is several pigs sty away — in fact coming from the old sell that gave birth to the for-mentioned piglets, who now Rome free without any knowledge of sausages or chops.       If it were not for the fact butcher Kilmore foolhardily removed the finger most used for picking his nostrils and cleaning wax from his ears, he could have gone on with is daily chores without the drawing attention to the missing digit.          However this was not the case — for it was the dumb and thick Rollin who found the said digit, ever so nicely wrapped inside his sausage.